Cake Like A Boss

I’m too old to start a new career.

I don’t have time.

I’m not talented enough.

Do any of these excuses sound familiar? 

Have you said these very words to yourself, any time you’ve started to contemplate doing something else with your life?

This kind of negative self-talk can stop you from pursuing your dreams before you’ve even gotten started. I know. I know because the sentences above are the very things I said to myself for years before becoming a cake designer.

So why am I starting with such seeming negativity? It’s simple.

You can’t slay your dragons unless you acknowledge that they exist.

Let’s deal with these one by one, shall we?

I’m too old to start a new career.

Boy, this one seems like a hard one, doesn’t it? I mean, you can’t change how old you are. 

When I quit my job as a copywriter to attend cooking school at night at age 30, it was a big gamble and I won’t lie – it was very scary, but being in school again didn’t actually feel that strange, since the class was full of people like me. Most were around my age who wanted to change careers. I was surrounded by other motivated people who were just as enthusiastic to be there as I was. It was amazing!

It wasn’t until I got out into the field and was at the same experience level as 18 year old kids that I really felt old and out of place. It’s not easy being ordered around by someone much younger than yourself! 

Still, as awkward as it was to start over, I never regretted making that career change. It was exciting and empowering to be doing something I had dreamed about for so long. I felt more alive than I had in many years. And it was all my doing. I felt like I had power over my life.

The fact is, it is never too late to start something new. An old dog can learn new tricks!

I may have been an “old” pastry cook when I started out, but what I lacked in technical knowledge, I made up for in life experience, drive, and maturity. And believe you me, employers find those to be very attractive qualities in potential employees. So don’t be afraid of looking foolish. 

I don’t have time.

This has been a big dragon for me to slay, and honestly, it is still (and may always be) a work in progress. 

Like most people, I have a lot on my plate – a job, a family, pets, a house to take care of, and a to-do list that never seems to end. For the most part, I’m happy with what I have and the life I lead, and yet the itch to start a new business has been growing and getting harder to ignore!

I tell myself that I don’t have time to do more than I’m doing – that I don’t have the energy, or that my 12 year old needs me too much, or that I should be working on the house, or buying groceries, or cleaning, or doing one of the millions of other things that make the days of my life speed by. My life is full of obligations to everyone and everything else, but I recognize that I’m making excuses. I don’t want to take time away from my family, but I’ve also got to carve out something that is just for me. I deserve that. So do you.

We all waste time – with television, the internet, shopping, etc. All of us can find some time in our busy day to do something positive for ourselves and to move toward making our dreams a reality. We just have to believe it’s worth it. That we are worth it.

For me, this means getting up extra early. I’m a morning person and I do my best thinking then. I wish I could use that time at night after my daughter goes to sleep, but my body is tired and my brain is toast by then and barely suitable for much more than watching tv. For you that might mean using your lunch break, or the time after the kids go to bed. Be creative.

Whenever it is, make it a standing appointment. Commit to it. Honor this commitment to yourself as you would any other of your commitments. Your dreams are worth that much. You are worth that much.

I’m not talented enough.

I saved the best one for last. 

Who among us hasn’t looked at something amazing someone else has done and thought, that person is so talented! I wish I could do something like that – or worse – I could never do that. 

It was seeing one of Sylvia Weinstock’s beautiful cakes in a wedding magazine that started it all for me. 

During my freshman year in college, my friend Elke and I were leafing through bridal magazines as she prepared for her wedding. I spotted the most beautiful flower-covered cake in one of them. This cake was unlike anything I had ever seen before in my life and I was mesmerized. Initially I vowed to myself that I would have Sylvia Weinstock do my wedding cake someday if I ever got married. Over time though, I stopped thinking of it as something I wanted to get, and it turned into something I wanted to do. 

I pursued an entirely different career, but the thought never went away. Eventually I decided I just had to give it a try or give up the idea. I didn’t know if I would be any good at making wedding cakes or doing sugar flowers, but I wanted to give it my full effort. 

I went to cooking school, interned for Ron Ben-Israel, and worked for Gail Watson, before going to work for myself.  I’ve made hundreds of cakes and thousands of flowers and over time have gotten better and better at it. These experiences have all taught me a very valuable lesson.

What most people think of as talent is often just skill that comes from lots and lots of practice.

This realization changed my whole perspective. It made me realize that if I really want to learn something, and I do it a lot (and I really do mean A LOT), I can be good at it. 

When I started my first business with my old partner, she was much better at covering cakes with fondant than I was, so that was part of her area of responsibility. It made sense, since the finished product needs to be as good as we can make it. She was better, so she did that part.

When we closed our business and parted ways, each of us opened a solo business. The first time I had to do a cake covered with fondant was actually for a magazine photoshoot for InStyle Weddings magazine. 

I tell you honestly that I was nervous. Very nervous. My fondant skills were less-than wonderful at that point, and it’s actually more difficult to cover styrofoam cake dummies, than it is to cover real cake. Also, I couldn’t get the fondant I usually used in time for the deadline, so I ran out to NY Cake & Baking Supply and bought what they had. 

I can’t sugarcoat it. Covering that dummy cake was a disaster. Between my skill-level, and working with a fondant I had never used before (and never really wanted to again), it took me several tries to cover the cake perfectly. It HAD to be flawless because it was going to be photographed. If I recall correctly, I probably covered and recovered each tier 2-3 times. By the time the cake was ready to be decorated, I was at quite a low-point, berating myself pretty much ad-nauseum.

Before I did that cake, I had always told myself and others that I just wasn’t good with fondant, but this taught me that I was just going to have to learn to be good with it no matter what it took. I never again told myself that I couldn’t do it. From then on, I practiced as much as I could, and designed a lot of fondant-covered cakes, and got better and better. 

I used to be scared every time I had to get out the fondant to cover the cakes, until one day I realized that the fear was gone. The fear had been replaced by confidence, and that was a very nice feeling. 

People often tell me I’m talented, and I smile and thank them, but in my head, I’m thinking, that’s not talent, that’s some damn fine skill!